Now Playing Review - The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Even with director Catherine Hardwicke’s take on bringing the first book of this series to screen, Chris Weitz fails to do little more than use her vision as a guidebook on how to direct The Twilight Saga: New Moon, and therefore, recreates a lot of the problems that plagued the first film while simply trying to appease the salivating masses of obsessed fans.

If you have read the books of this series, then you know exactly what happens in this ridiculously faithful adaptation. For those of you who haven’t, New Moon begins with Bella’s 18^th birthday, which proves to be just as traumatic as she believed it would be. While at a party the Cullen family chooses to throw her, Bella (Kristen Stewart) gets a paper cut of epic proportions, sending one vamp into a blood hungry state of mind. Brooding over the opinion that this is all his fault, Edward (Robert Pattinson) chooses to take his family and run away from Forks, promising to never interfere with Bella’s life again. Falling into a pit of lonely despair, Bella eventually resurfaces, only to attach herself to Jacob (Taylor Lautner), who just so happens to be a werewolf.

Following the lead of most of the characters in this film, or rather, the actors’ interpretations of their characters, this film tends to take itself way too seriously, making it hard to relate to the story and characters more often than not. Let’s start with the most obvious: Bella’s dependence on the males of this series is a little excessive, and I half expected her to end the film early by slitting her wrists. Instead, we just get to witness her complete dedication to teen angst and depression, complete with night after night of screaming into her pillow as she contorts her body in agony. And once she finally decides to return to the land of the living, she continues to mope as she competes with the others over who can be the most melodramatic and brood in the corner with the most intensity.

With that said, because the main characters seem to have little expected of them in their range of acting, this film easily goes to the supporting cast, who often only appear in a couple of scenes. First, there is Jessica (Anna Kendrick), who shines in her hilarious rant about the true meaning of a film Bella forces her to sit through, becoming a much needed burst of fresh air in this overly suffocating film. Harry Clearwater (Graham Greene) follows her lead with more comedic relief, along with Bella’s dad, Charlie (Billy Burke), who proves to be a saint for putting up with that child. And finally, the Volturi coven, the oldest clan of vampires, is fleshed out with a lot of great people, including apathetic Marcus (Christopher Heyerdahl), creepily enthusiastic Aro (Michael Sheen), and pain invoking Jane (Dakota Fanning). But lets face it, Dakota Fanning is Dakota Fanning, so no surprise there.

Continuing on this path, the supporting cast is not the sole item in the pro column fighting against the cons. For starters, though a lot of the music and camera work still proved to be over the top at times, there were a few moments when all the elements actually came together beautifully, such as when the wolf pack chases Victoria (Rachelle Lefevre) through the woods, showing that Weitz actually may have some talent after all. Speaking of the music, though the orchestral scores were a little much, the soundtrack to the film is full of many strong selections. And finally, though I complain a lot about how melodramatic the film is, this actually proved to be a great source of unintentional hilarity, and made the film more enjoyable than I am letting on.

Overall New Moon fails to expand on what was expected of it following the first film, proving to be a disappointment to me, but still enjoyable in how easily one can make fun of it. And let’s face it, my complaints will more likely than not go unnoticed by the screaming girls this movie is aimed at.

Final Grade: B-

PS – when you have incredibly ripped boys taking their shirts off left and right, at least try to pretend there is a reason for this happening.

Suggestion Box (Nov. 23 - 29)

Yeah… I must have been too distracted by the holiday food to notice anything of interest to pass along. But to keep from being lame, here is my suggestion to you, inspired by my experience with Harper’s Island: If there was ever a TV show (or movie, game, book, etc) that you ended up missing for whatever reason when it first came around, go spend some time with it. Take it from me, it might end up being a favorite (oh Firefly, what would I have done without you?).

TV Review - Harper's Island: The Complete Series

Harper’s Island may choose to wade through the waters of TV's tamer horror genre rather than create major ripples with a cannonball into the deep end, but for me it still manages to be a welcome allusion to the campier horror films I grew up with.

It follows Henry Dunn (Christopher Gorham), Trish Wellington (Katie Cassidy), and their wedding guests as they spend the week on the island before the ceremony. Included in this party is Henry’s best childhood friend, Abby Mills (Elaine Cassidy), who hasn't returned for 7 years because of a string of horrific murders that claimed her mother as a victim. As a welcome gift to all the wedding party members, someone begins killing them off, one by one. Whether or not these two events are connected, clearly someone is not willing to hold their peace.

Though I regret not tuning in to Harper’s Island when it aired last summer, I actually think it is a lot better to sit through the whole season in a couple of days. This is mainly because I don't know if I would have been patient enough to wait all that time just too see who is behind it all when my copy of I Know What You Did Last Summer is sitting right there. It too has the young, upcoming cast (well, at the time), the mystery, romance, a leading, slightly depressed brunette being picked on, fishermen, yada yada yada, but it only takes a couple of hours to get through.

Basically, when you get down to it, the essence of both these things is really similar (though a little Scream is mixed in if you know where to look); however, what IKWYDLS cannot dream to compare to this is the body count of Harper’s Island. Sure, you have to wonder how it takes people that long to notice that people are going missing, especially considering most of them are there as members of the wedding party. I guess the texts coming from some of the characters post mortem can be believable to an extent, but how dumb do you have to be to not question why that many people that you invited to take part in your wedding aren’t there? What depths did you have to sink to if the members of your wedding party don’t even care to show up? Do you not have closer friends? But I digress…

Not only were there a lot of deaths, but they were messy. Take the death that ends the first episode. The sounds that accompanied what was happening below the camera were gross enough, but I could not believe that what was revealed when the camera pulled out had aired on CBS. My jaw literally dropped. But that is far from the only gross out moment, with each new death trying to one up the previous. And don’t worry, there is plenty of blood to go around.

When you get down to it, Harper’s Island is far from being unpredictable in its storyline, but it remains intriguing enough to see it through. Especially considering that when you know a death is coming, chances are you won’t guess how it was going to go down. And that ending (or rather, the extent to which they take it)… Now that was unexpected.

Final Grade: B+

PS – Now I don't know if the episode titles connect to the types of deaths contained within, but make sure to give them a gander. They definitely make the imagination run wild.

Rental Review - Angels and Demons

A couple of years ago, we learned with the Da Vinci Code that maybe some books just shouldn't be changed into a movie because they lose some of their magic. Sure, they can be fun, but you can tell that something is missing. Now I won’t say that the film version of Angels and Demons is a waste of time, it’s actually really entertaining, it just doesn’t have the power of the novel.

Before I can really delve into the body of the film one thing must be noted: Tom Hanks changed his hair up for this one. Can I get a hallelujah?

Speaking of religion… Angels and Demons brings about another Robert Langdon mystery that takes place before all that pesky questioning Jesus stuff of the previous film. This time around he heads to the Vatican to help find the path that will lead to four Cardinals who have been kidnapped during the ceremonies to find a new pope. Oh yeah, and the kidnapper might be working out of revenge on behalf of the Illuminati, a group of pro science thinkers who were believed to have been stomped out by the Church. No matter what the case, it is up to Langdon and his knowledge of symbols to save the day.

All right, seeing as I am writing a review about a movie with some major religious subject matter, I feel like I have to get something off my chest. The end of the last paragraph was a slight fib. I know, I know. It’s a horrible thing to do, but just hear me out. Langdon is brought in because basically he is the only one with all the knowledge and detective skills who can see what everyone else can’t in order to solve this puzzle. However, I slightly lied because this doesn’t really come off in the film. In other words, once Langdon gets to the Vatican there is no question that he is going to start putting two and two together. And in this case, he doesn't even break a sweat. All he has to do is think really hard, start rambling about all these clues, maybe ask someone to translate something, connect the dots to his “oh yes! I see!” moment, and we are good to roll out. Sure, he is racing against the clock so there isn’t enough time to sit down and sip some coffee over a slew of papers with fancy drawings and lines of rhymes, but the fast pace of the film actually works against the problem solving aspect of these stories. Instead, all Langdon has to do is show up at the site, look around, and within seconds he seems to be ready to move on. It’s just a little too convenient, causing Langdon to look a little stupid for always showing up a little too late.

This second installment of the clue solving adventures of Robert Langdon is a little bit of a let down, especially in the repetition (how many times does the power really have to go out just as they are getting to that area of the city?) and “going through the motions” feel to the action. So again, I will say that if you want to experience this adventure as it was meant to be (you know, one with tension), then I really suggest reading the book version of Angels and Demons.

Final Grade: B-

P.S. – Tom Hanks has got nothing on Ewan McGregor.

Suggestion Box (Nov. 16 - 22)

Assassin’s Creed 2 Launch Trailer – I just finished this game (review coming soon) and can now officially feel good about pushing it. If for some reason you are still unsure as to whether or not you want it, check out the trailer here.

How to Train Your Dragon Trailer – A new 3D adventure from Dreamworks, now with dragons! Sure, they will probably make you coo more than full of fright, but dragons! Check it out here.

Now Playing Review - 2012

This addition to director Roland Emmerich’s ode to destruction and the end of the world is fun if you switch off your brain and stare at the pretty pictures, but don’t expect anything of substance.

2012 takes its inspiration from the belief that the world will come to an end on Dec. 21, 2012, which many believe the Mayans predicted and acknowledged through the end of their calendar. What many consider to be utter nonsense begins to become a reality three years prior to this date when large changes start occurring on the planet. Basically the earth is heating from the inside, creating an unstable crust that will begin to shift in the next couple of years. In order to make this a more accessible story, a generic family with problems and adorable children are thrown into the turmoil, fighting to survive as the world literally comes crashing down around them. Oh, and a Russian family as well, but I choose to ignore that for the most part…

When you get down to it, little about this film really makes sense. But worst of all, the set up is completely unnecessary. For the first hour of the film the movie trudges through random stories that seem to have no connection or relevance to the basic conflict of man vs. the world, and when these subplots finally start to come together and make sense there is no satisfaction. Instead, they are more “Eh, whatever” moments. But what’s more is that, personally, I know I was there to see some total destruction, and that didn't really occur until the first hour was over.

Once the apocalypse begins, the screen is engulfed in amazing visual effects, but unfortunately even this starts to go the way of the story. After the initial race through the tumbling city of LA, every other scene is just a remix of this, more often than not involving a vehicle being chased by some angry environmental forces. Over and over and over again… Sure, the first time they run out of runway in the plane there’s an “oh no” moment, but when it happens for a second, and then third time, the tension is lost. Okay, so maybe this time there are fireballs involved, but really, it's the same thing.

The lack of dedication to a great story, dialogue, or enough characters to care about (though I guess it could be argued that many are just cannon fodder) makes it clear early on that this film was just an excuse to go crazy with the visual effects. My advice to you: if you do choose to go see this movie, make sure you drag someone along who will be just as willing to sit there and make snarky comments of everything that’s happening on screen.

Final Grades: Story: F+

Effects (AKA the reason for this films existence): A-

Averaged out: C (but I think that’s way too forgiving)

Suggestion Box (Nov. 9 - 16)

Clash of the Titans Trailer - Yay violence, mythology, creatures and CGI. Check it out here.

Date Night Trailer – Two of TV’s best comedians finally come together for this film. Should be great. Check out Tina Fey and Steve Carell here.

Green Zone Trailer – Matt Damon doing what he does best. Check it out here.

Leap Year Trailer - Who knows if this film will move beyond the usual romantic comedy, but I am pretty much willing to watch Amy Adams in anything, so here's to high hopes. Check it out here.